July 22, 2020 /
Mary Anne Callaway /
Awareness, blame game, Uncategorized
First Step on the Pathway of Personal Empowerment
One of the most important steps to personal empowerment is to identify and let go of the blame game. Why? Because you can’t change your life’s circumstances unless you begin to take ownership of them. You can’t and won’t change if you have the belief that things in your life are someone else’s fault.
When you stop the blame game, you have taken a huge leap into personal responsibility and accountability. You are no longer the victim of anyone or anything. Victims are powerless.
So, how to identify if you are playing the blame game? Here are 6 behaviors/attitudes that lend themselves to victim behavior.
6 ways to identify you are playing the blame game
1) You often think “my life will be better when ______”( I get a new job, when I get a new place to live, when I get a new relationship, my finances improve..etc, etc, etc..)
When you place the power to change your life outside of yourself, you have effectively given your personal power away.
2) The word “they” “she” or “he” is your first thought when you become upset or when something is not going as expected in your life. “they” did this…., “she “ is the reason that, “he” made me feel….
Blaming someone else when things are not going smoothly in your life is the perfect way to remain a victim.
3) Complete the sentence “I am not happy because…..” and see where your thoughts take you.
If your thoughts take you to anyone or anything else but yourself, you have surrendered you power to that person or thing.
4) Do you spend a lot of time dwelling on negative things from the past?
This is another way of giving power to things that cannot be changed. A waste of time and personal energy. It feeds the victim mentality.
5) Is it difficult for you to admit when you made a mistake?
It can sometimes be a bit scary to make yourself vulnerable, but it is a huge step in personal growth and accountability.
6 ) You often feel life is unfair.
Classic victim mentality. You are at the mercy of life’s twists and turns. The reality is that you are only at the mercy of your own choices.
Identifying blame game behavior requires an honest evaluation into our behaviors and attitudes. It is, however, very worth the time and effort. Freeing yourself of the blame game is the first pathway on the road to personal freedom and happiness.
Watch for the next installment…Why do we play the blame game?
July 21, 2020 /
Mary Anne Callaway /
attitude, Awareness, Uncategorized
We play the blame game because it is a self-defense mechanism that is firmly rooted in our human consciousness. It is as old as the Garden of Eden. Adam pointed the finger at Eve, Eve blamed the serpent. The dog ate my homework. And so it goes….
When we are able to blame someone else for our issues, it creates an illusion of safety around us. There is no need to deal with the consequences of our actions when they are someone else’s fault. Our self-esteem is preserved. We avoid all uncomfortable feelings when we look outside of ourselves for the cause of our problems. Nothing needs to change, all is well, and we are safe.
Or are we? Have we given ourselves any growth opportunities when we point our fingers? Are we remaining stuck in our patterns?
Next time you find yourself playing the blame game, ask yourself the following questions..
Why did I point the finger at __________?
What did I gain by blaming___________?
You may find that your finger pointing was a reflex, done without conscious thought. You may find that any short term feelings of control that you may have gained by blaming were actually setbacks in personal growth opportunities.
Know that a whole world of opportunity awaits you when you are ready to say ” this is no one else’s fault but my own”. At that point, you have taken huge steps toward Wholeness.
Next…the Victim/Victimizer Dance
July 20, 2020 /
Mary Anne Callaway /
mindfulness, power, Uncategorized, wisdom
The Freedom Through Choice Foundation is pleased to roll-out our Pathways to Wholeness Program. We invite you to take the first step on this journey by accessing the Pathways to Wholeness tab on our website.
How do we define Wholeness?
Our concept of Wholeness is broad and inclusive. It reflects a day to day existence where we are not governed by our emotions and distracting idle thoughts. Wholeness reflects deliberate, conscious, Source-centered free will choice at most times of the day, where we are not being driven by outdated unconscious programs or emotions running unchecked,
If we look to the discipline of psychology for insights, Wholeness would be a bit similar to Maslow’s concept of self-actualization, where an individual is concerned with fulfilling their potential…less concerned about the opinions of others and having “peak” experiences as a normal part of day-to-day living. Or to Jung’s concept of individuation where an individual grows to distinguish themselves from the general collective of humanity
If we look to spiritual traditions, we see that most religions have a concept of a deeper reality when we transcend the ordinary 3 dimensional experience. Whether that state is called cosmic consciousness, nirvana, ecstasy, kundalini awakening, transcendent or illumination experiences, there is a place beyond the normal day to day existence where truth, enlightenment and joy resides.
At the FTCF, we refer to this place simply as Wholeness- a place where we realize that we are a Spark of Source and in this place we are free to express the divine within us. We see, feel and express the joy and love of Source, and as we do, we cease to rely on “externals” of any sort for our happiness. Wholeness is a journey- an eternally alive evolving state of consciousness consisting of stages of expanding awareness which spiral outward allowing for an ever increasing embodiment of the love of Source.
How do we reach this place of Wholeness? In order to do so, it is necessary to free the mental and emotional aspects of ourselves that are not a reflection of conscious, Source-centered choice. Free from old mental programs and emotional patterns which do not reflect this Spark within us.
The Freedom Through Choice Foundation offers the Pathways to Wholeness….a step-by step program where we work to heal the emotional and mental aspects of ourselves that are a result of old, stuck programs, and thereby allowing conscious, free will choice to express. Our program crosses all disciplines— scientific, psychological and spiritual traditions- all of these traditions have much to offer on the path of healing.
