6 Ways to Know if you are Playing the Blame Game

July 22, 2020 /   /  Awareness, blame game, Uncategorized

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First Step on the Pathway of Personal Empowerment

One of the most important steps to personal empowerment is to identify and let go of the blame game.   Why?  Because you can’t change your life’s circumstances unless you begin to take ownership of them.   You can’t and won’t change if you have the belief that things in your life are someone else’s fault.

When you stop the blame game, you have taken a huge leap into personal responsibility and accountability.  You are no longer the victim of anyone or anything.   Victims are powerless.

So, how to identify if you are playing the blame game?   Here are 6 behaviors/attitudes that lend themselves to victim behavior.

 

6 ways to identify you are playing the blame game

1)  You often think “my life will be better when ______”( I get a new job, when I get a new place to live, when I get a new relationship, my finances improve..etc, etc, etc..)

When you place the power to change your life outside of yourself, you have effectively given       your personal power away.

2)  The word “they” “she” or “he” is your first thought when you become upset or  when something is not going as expected in your life.   “they” did this….,  “she “ is the reason that, “he” made me feel….

Blaming someone else when things are not going smoothly in your life is the perfect way to remain a victim.

3)  Complete the sentence “I am not happy because…..” and see where your thoughts take you.

If your thoughts take you to anyone or anything  else but yourself, you have surrendered you power to that person or thing.

4) Do you spend a lot of time dwelling on negative things from the past?

This is another way of giving power to things that cannot be changed.  A waste of time and personal energy.   It feeds the victim mentality.

5)  Is it difficult for you to admit when you made a mistake?

It can sometimes be a bit scary to make yourself vulnerable, but it is a huge step in personal growth and accountability.

6 ) You often feel life is unfair.

Classic victim mentality.   You are at the mercy of life’s twists and turns.   The reality is that you are only at the mercy of your own choices.

Identifying blame game behavior requires an honest evaluation into our behaviors and attitudes.   It is, however, very worth the time and effort.   Freeing yourself of the blame game is the first pathway on the road to personal freedom and happiness.

Watch for the next installment…Why do we play the blame game?

Why Do We Play the Blame Game?

July 21, 2020 /   /  attitude, Awareness, Uncategorized

 

 

 

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We play the blame game because it is a self-defense mechanism that is firmly rooted in our human consciousness.  It is as old as the Garden of Eden.   Adam pointed the finger at Eve, Eve blamed the serpent.  The dog ate my homework.   And so it goes….

When we are able to blame someone else for our issues, it creates an illusion of safety around us.   There is no need to deal with the consequences of our actions when they are someone else’s fault.  Our self-esteem is preserved. We avoid all uncomfortable feelings when we look outside of ourselves for the cause of our problems.   Nothing needs to change, all is well, and we are safe.

Or are we?   Have we given ourselves any growth opportunities when we point our fingers?   Are we remaining stuck in our patterns?

Next time you find yourself playing the blame game, ask yourself the following questions..

Why did I point the finger at __________?

What did I gain by blaming___________?

You may find that your finger pointing was a reflex, done without conscious thought.   You may find that any short term feelings of control that you may have gained by blaming were actually setbacks in personal growth opportunities.

Know that a whole world of opportunity awaits you when you are ready to say ” this is no one else’s fault but my own”.  At that point, you have taken huge steps toward Wholeness.

Next…the Victim/Victimizer Dance